Relationships, Roles, and Transitions



Relationships, Roles, and Transitions


Theris A. Touhy




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This chapter examines the various relationships, roles, and transitions that are characteristic in later life. Important roles of older adults include that of spouse, partner, parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, sibling, friend, mentor, and caregiver. The role functions of these relationships shift as societal norms and economics change. Biomedical technology, political agendas, social expectations, and worldwide economic fluctuations are continually changing the face of aging. Even more changes are expected as the first wave of baby boomers enters young-old age. The major concerns of this group are adequate health care coverage, the preservation of Social Security, and caregiving demands. This major change in the aging landscape is only one of many massive social changes that have altered the patterns of work, family, and kinship structures in recent decades.


The chief concerns in this chapter are the impact of these numerous changes on the quality of life and the range of possibilities for elders in their most important affiliations. Individuals live longer, families are smaller, more women work, and caregiving has become a normative life experience. Thus social change and individual need continue to change the nature of the life course and affiliative inclinations.



Later Life Transitions


Role transitions that occur in late life include retirement, grandparenthood, widowhood, and becoming a caregiver or recipient of care. These transitions may occur predictably or may be imposed by unanticipated events. Retirement is an example of a predictable event that can and should be planned long in advance, although for some, it can occur unexpectedly as a result of illness, disability, or being terminated from a job. To the degree that an event is perceived as expected and occurring at the right time, a role transition may be comfortable and even welcomed. Those persons who must retire “too early” or are widowed “too soon” will have more difficulty adapting than those who are at an age when these events are expected.


The speed and intensity of a major change may make the difference between a transitional crisis and a gradual and comfortable adaptation. Most difficult are the transitions that incorporate losses rather than gains in status, influence, and opportunity. The move from independence to dependence and becoming a care recipient is particularly difficult. Conditions that influence the outcome of transitions include personal meanings, expectations, level of knowledge, preplanning, and emotional and physical reserves. Cohort, cultural, and gender differences are inherent in all of life’s major transitions. Those transitions that make use of past skills and adaptations may be less stressful. The ideal outcome is when gains in satisfaction and new roles offset losses.



Retirement


Retirement, as we formerly knew it, has changed. Retirement is no longer just a few years of rest from the rigors of work before death. It is a developmental stage that may occupy 30 or more years of one’s life and involve many stages. The transitions are blurring, and the numerous patterns and styles of retiring have produced more varied experiences in retirement. With recent events that have seriously threatened pension security and portability, as well as a declining economy, more older people are remaining in the workforce. Forty-four percent of retirees work for pay at some point after retirement (see Chapter 1, Figure 1-7). Some do so because of economic need, whereas others have a desire to remain involved and productive. Obviously, health and financial status affect decisions and abilities to work or engage in new work opportunities. The baby boomers increasingly face the prospect of working longer, and 33% of this generation do not own assets and have little in savings or projected retirement income beyond Social Security. Eighty-three percent of baby boomers intend to keep working after retirement (Hooyman & Kiyak, 2011).



Retirement Planning


Current research suggests that retirement has positive effects on life satisfaction and health, although this may vary depending on the individual’s circumstances. Predictors of retirement satisfaction are presented in Box 22-1. Decisions to retire are often based on financial resources, attitude toward work, family roles and responsibilities, the nature of the job, access to health insurance, chronological age, health, and self-perceptions of ability to adjust to retirement (Box 22-2). Retirement planning is advisable during early adulthood and essential in middle age. However, people differ in their focus on the past, present, and future and their realistic ability to “put away something” for future needs. Retirement preparation programs are usually aimed at employees with high levels of education and occupational status, those with private pension coverage, and government employees. Thus the people most in need of planning assistance may be those least likely to have any available, let alone the resources for an adequate retirement. Individuals who are retiring in poor health, culturally and racially diverse persons, and those in lower socioeconomic levels may experience greater concerns in retirement and may need specialized counseling. These groups are often neglected in retirement planning programs.




BOX 22-2   Issues in Retirement Potential




1. Financial need versus resources


2. Employability


3. Rewards derived from employment



4. Psychosocial characteristics—attitudes toward retirement



5. Personality factors



6. Level of information about retirement



7. Pressures to retire



Working couples must plan together for retirement. Decisions will depend on their career goals, shared future interests, and the quality of their interpersonal relationship. The following are some questions one must weigh when deciding to retire or continue working:



Retirement education plans are supplied through employers, group lectures, individual counseling, books. DVDs, and Internet resources. However, at this juncture and in light of the many hazards experienced by pre-retirees, planning is often insufficient. Many individuals have very high expectations for the final third of their lives. Although federal laws encourage increased participation in company-sponsored 401(k) plans, many of these plans are unreliable and rates of return have diminished considerably. The continued availability of Social Security is of great concern to current and future retirees (Chapter 20).


The adequacy of retirement income depends not only on work history but also on marital history. The poverty rates of older women are excessively high. Couples who had previous marriages and divorces may have significantly lower economic resources available than those in first marriages. Child support, divorce settlements, and pension apportionment to ex-spouses may have diminished retirement income. This problem is an ever-increasing impediment to retirement because, among couples presently approaching retirement age, fewer than half are in a first marriage. Policies have been based on the traditional lifelong marriage, and this is no longer appropriate.



Special Considerations in Retirement


Retirement security depends on the “three-legged stool” of Social Security pensions, savings, and investments (Stanford and Usita, 2002). Older people with disabilities, those who have lacked access to education or held low-paying jobs with no benefits, and those not eligible for Social Security are at economic risk during retirement years. Culturally and racially diverse older persons, women—especially widows and those divorced or never married—immigrants, and gay and lesbian men and women often face greater challenges related to adequate income and benefits in retirement. Unmarried women, particularly African Americans, face the most negative prospects for retirement now and for at least the next 20 years (Hooyman and Kiyak, 2011).


Inadequate coverage for women in retirement is common because their work histories have been sporadic and diverse. Women are often called on to retire earlier than anticipated because of family needs. Whereas most men have always worked outside the home, it is only within the past 30 years that this has been the expectation of women. Therefore large cohort differences exist. Traditionally, the variability of women’s work histories, interrupted careers, the residuals of sexist pension policies, Social Security inequities, and low-paying jobs created hazards for adequacy of income in retirement. The scene is gradually changing in many respects, but the gender bias remains.


Basing retirement calculations on gender and projected survival statistics is now illegal, though until the early 1980s, women were allotted less pension income based purely on their expected longevity compared with men. Although this is no longer in force, women who retired 20 or 25 years ago remain penalized because of gender. Older women are likely to have several years of no earnings calculated into the averages that determine the amount of their Social Security benefits. Some women find that they will receive more if their Social Security benefits are calculated on their husband’s earnings; this may be true even though widowed or divorced. The Social Security Administration must be contacted regarding these matters because many variables must be considered.


Barriers to equal treatment for LGBT couples include job discrimination, unequal treatment under Social Security, pension plans, and 401(k) plans. LGBT couples are not eligible for Social Security survivor benefits, and unmarried partners cannot claim pension plan rights after the death of the pension plan participant. These policies definitely place LGBT elders at a disadvantage in retirement planning.



Promoting Healthy Aging: Implications for Gerontological Nursing


Successful retirement adjustment depends on socialization needs, energy levels, health, adequate income, variety of interests, amount of self-esteem derived from work, presence of intimate relationships, social support, and general adaptability. Nurses may have the opportunity to work with people in different phases of retirement or participate in retirement education and counseling programs (Box 22-3). Talking with clients older than age 50 about retirement plans, providing anticipatory guidance about the transition to retirement, identifying those who may be at risk for lowered income and health concerns, and referring to appropriate resources for retirement planning and support are important nursing interventions.



It is important to build on the strengths of older adults’ life experiences and coping skills and to provide appropriate counseling and support to assist older people to continue to grow and develop in meaningful ways during the transition from the work role. In ideal situations, retirement offers the opportunity to pursue interests that may have been neglected while fulfilling other obligations. However, for too many older people, retirement presents challenges that affect both health and well-being, and nurses must be advocates for policies and conditions that allow all older people to maintain quality of life in retirement.



Death of a Spouse


Losing a partner after a long, close, and satisfying relationship is the most difficult adjustment one can face, aside from the loss of a child. The loss of a spouse is a stage in the life course that can be anticipated but seldom is. Seventy-six percent of women over age 85 are widowed compared with 38% of men (Federal Interagency Forum on Aging, 2010). “Spousal bereavement is associated with significant distress, which has multifactorial ramifications for physical and mental health outcomes assessment” (Minton and Barron, 2008, p. 45). The death of a life partner is essentially a loss of self. The mourning is as much for oneself as for the individual who has died. A core part of oneself has died with the partner, and even with satisfactory grief resolution, that aspect of self will never return. Even those widows and widowers who reorganize their lives and invest in family, friends, and activities often find that many years later they still miss their “other half” profoundly.


With the loss of the intimate partner, several changes occur simultaneously that involve social status, economics, and self-image. Individuals who have been self-confident and resilient seem to fare best. The transitional phase of grief, if handled appropriately, leads to the confirmation of a new identity, the end of one stage of life and the beginning of another (Chapter 23). Seldom in life is there such an abrupt and distinct breach that creates intense pain but offers the opportunity for the emergence of a new identity.


Gender differences are found in the literature on widowhood. Bereaved husbands may be more socially and emotionally vulnerable. Suicide risk is highest among men over age 80 who have experienced the death of a spouse. Widowers adapt more slowly than widows to the loss of a spouse and often remarry quickly. Loneliness and the need to be cared for is a factor influencing widowers to seek out new partners. Association with family and friends, being members of a church community, and continuing to work or engage in activities can all be helpful in the adjustment period following the death of a wife. Common bereavement reactions of widowers are listed in Box 22-4 and should be discussed with male clients.




Promoting Healthy Aging: Implications for Gerontological Nursing


Assessment


Nurses working with the bereaved will need to review Lindemann’s classic grief studies to understand the initial somatic responses of the bereaved (Lindemann, 1944). Feelings of the bereaved one are not orderly or progressive; they are conflicted, ambivalent, suicidal, full of rage, and often suspicious. Widows and widowers may exhibit personality disorganization that would be considered mentally aberrant or frankly psychotic under other circumstances. Some people handle grief with less apparent decompensation. Grief reactions must be accepted as personally valid and useful evidences of healing. DeVries (2001) discusses the signs of ongoing bonds and connections with the deceased (e.g., dreaming of the deceased, ongoing daily communication, “checking in”) that persist long after death and counsels professionals to reexamine the idea that there is a timetable for “resolution” of grief. There are several tools that can be used to assess aspects of the bereavement process including coping, grief symptomatology, personal growth, continuing bonds, and health risk assessment (Minton and Barron, 2008).



Interventions


Nurses will interact with bereaved older people in many settings. Knowing the stages of transition to a new role as a widow or widower will be useful in determining interventions, although each individual is unique in this respect. Individuals respond to losses in ways that reflect the nature and meaning of the relationships as well as the unique characteristics of the bereaved. Patterns of adjustment are presented in Box 22-5. With adequate support, reintegration can be expected in two to four years. People with few familial or social supports may need professional help to get through the early months of grief in a way that will facilitate recovery. To support the grieving person, it is necessary to extend one’s own self to reconnect the severed person with a world of warmth and caring. No one nurse or family member can accomplish this task alone. Hundreds of small, caring gestures build strength and confidence in the grieving person’s ability and willingness to survive. Additional information about dying, death, and grief can be found in Chapter 23.



BOX 22-5   Patterns of Adjustment to Widowhood








Relationships in Later Life


The classic study of Lowenthal and Haven (1968) has been reviewed in detail and elaborated many times since its inception. The importance of caring relationships and the presence of a confidante as a buffer against “age-linked social losses” is demonstrated in the study. Maintaining a stable intimate relationship was more closely associated with good mental health and high morale than was a high level of activity or elevated role status. Individuals seem able to manage stresses if some relationships are close and sustaining. Increasingly evident is that a caring person may be a significant survival resource. Frequently nurses become the caring other in an older person’s life, especially among elders living in nursing homes (Touhy, 2001). Social bonding increases health status through as yet undetermined physiological pathways, though studies in psychoneuroimmunology are giving us clues. Social support is related to psychological and physical well-being, and participation in meaningful social activities is also a modifying factor that may offset the risk of dementia.


This segment of the chapter familiarizes the reader with relationships as experienced in old age within generations and between generations. A network of kin, friends, and acquaintances can sustain the older adult and give life meaning. We might use the analogy of a tree that withstands storms and drought through an extensive root system, which provides stability and nourishment that may be helpful; such is old age. The ground around the tree must be tended to keep it thriving. We may find ourselves best caring for older people by caring for those who are important to them.


Primary relationships are intimate associations that provide a strong sense of sharing and belonging; these are the deep roots of our tree analogy. Relationships that are more formal, impersonal, superficial, and circumstantial are often time limited, sometimes intense but with a tendency to dissipate. These relationships are the surface network of roots that extend outward in many directions and are sustained by their profusion but wither with neglect or insignificance. Thus the primary network may need professional strengthening to bear the increasing demands.




Friendships


Friends are often a significant source of support in late life. The majority of older people live with others, but the incidence of older people living alone is increasing, especially after age 75 when 23% of men and 50% of women live alone. Those living alone are most likely to be women, elders of color, the oldest-old, low-income older adults, and those in rural areas. The number of friends may decline, but the majority of older adults have at least one close friend with whom they maintain close contact, share confidences, and can turn to in an emergency (Hooyman and Kiyak, 2011). Friendships are often sustaining in the face of overwhelming circumstances. Friends provide the critical elements of satisfactory living that families may not, providing commitment and affection without judgment. Personality characteristics between friends are compatible because the relationships are chosen and caring is shared without obligation. Trust, demonstrations of caring, and mutual problem solving are important aspects of the friendships.


Friends may share a lifelong perspective or may bring a totally new intergenerational viewpoint into one’s life. Late-life friendships often develop out of changing situations, such as shared tenancies, relocation to retirement or assisted living communities, widowhood, and involvement in volunteer pursuits. As desires and pursuits change, some friendships evolve that the person never would have considered in his or her youth. Friends function in many ways: (1) act as surrogate kin, (2) ease the loneliness of widowhood, and (3) validate one’s generational viewpoint.


Considering the obvious importance of friendship, it seems to be a neglected area of exploration and a seldom considered resource for professionals working with older people. Because close friendships have such influence on the sense of well-being of elders, anything done to sustain them or assist in building new friendships and social networks will be helpful. Generally, women tend to have more sustaining friendships than men do, and this factor contributes to resilience, a characteristic linked to successful aging (Hooyman and Kiyak, 2011). Nurses may include in their assessment questions about older individuals’ friendships and their importance and availability. Linking older adults to resources for social participation and meaningful activities is also an important intervention.



Mentoring Relationships


Professionals and, in some other situations, other older adults may develop intense reciprocal relationships with younger adults, and vice versa. These relationships often have an intimacy that is similar to that of parent and offspring. For some older people a relationship may fill a need for offspring who were never produced. In some cases, these relationships may be more satisfactory because the inherent generational expectations are attenuated by the absence of obligation. Elder retired academics often become involved with young neophyte students and professionals, the elder benefiting from fresh ideas and the younger from the wisdom of the elder. When the relationship is not one of mentoring, it may be a replacement of the idealized parent or grandparent who is no longer or was never available. “Catherine was the great-grandmother I never knew.” “Priscilla was a model of gracious aging.” “Mary Opal was a mentor and a surrogate mother.”



Families


The idea of family evokes strong impressions of whatever an individual believes the typical family should be. Because everyone comes from a family, these impressions have powerful symbolic meanings. However, in today’s world, the definition of family is in a state of flux. As recently as 100 years ago, the norm was the extended family made up of parents, their grown children, and the children’s children, often living together and sharing resources, strengths, and challenges. As cities grew and adult children moved in pursuit of work, parents did not always come along, and the nuclear family evolved. The norm in the United States became two parents and their two children, or at least that was the norm in what has been considered mainstream America. This pattern was not as common, nor is it yet, in many families of color, especially living in what are called “ethnic neighborhoods,” where the extended family is still the norm. Today, only about 23.5% of U.S. households are composed of nuclear families.


A decrease in fertility rates has reduced family size, and American families are smaller today than ever before (2.6 people in the nuclear family). A delay in the age of childbearing is more common, with the average age of first births now 25 years, and first births to women over 35 increasing nearly 8 times since 1970. The high divorce and remarriage rate results in households of blended families of children from previous marriages and the new marriage. Single-parent families, blended families, gay and lesbian families, childless families, and fewer families altogether are common.


Multigenerational families have grown by approximately 60% since 1990 (Hooyman & Kiyak, 2011). Growth of multigenerational households has accelerated during the economic downturn. From 2008 to 2010, the number of multigenerational households increased from 5.3% to 6.1% (American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), 2011). Older people without families, either by choice or circumstance, have created their own “families” through communal living with siblings, friends, or others. Indeed, it is not unusual for childless persons residing in long-term care facilities to refer to the staff as their new “family.”


Family members, however they are defined, form the nucleus of relationships for the majority of older adults and their support system if they become dependent. A long-standing myth in society is that families are alienated from their older family members and abandon their care to institutions. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Family relationships remain strong in old age, and most older people have frequent contact with their families. Most older adults possess a large intergenerational web of significant people, including sons, daughters, stepchildren, in-laws, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, as well as partners and former partners of their offspring. As discussed later in the chapter, families provide the majority of care for older adults. Changes in family structure will have a significant impact on the availability of family members to provide care for older people in the future.



As families change, the roles of the members or expectations of one another may change as well. Grandparents may assume parental roles for their grandchildren if their children are unable to care for them; or grandparents and older aunts and uncles may assume temporary caregiving roles while the children, nieces, and nephews work. Adult children of any age may provide limited or extensive caregiving to their own parents or aging relatives who become ill or impaired. A spouse or a sibling may become a caregiver as well. This caregiving may be temporary or long term.


Close-knit families are more aware of the needs of their members and work to resolve problems and find ways to meet the needs of members, even if they are not always successful. Emotionally distant families are less available in times of need and have greater potential for conflict. If the family has never been close and supportive, it will not magically become so when members grow older. Resentments long buried may crop up and produce friction or psychological pain. Long-submerged conflicts and feelings may return if the needs of one family member exceed those of the others. In coming to know the older adult, the gerontological nurse comes to know the family as well, learning of their special gifts and their life challenges. The nurse works with the elder within the unique culture of his or her family of origin, present family, and support networks, including friends.



Types of Families


Traditional Couples


The marital or partnered relationship in the United States is a critical source of support for older people, and nearly 55% of the population age 65 and older is married and lives with a spouse. Although this relationship is often the most binding if it extends into late life, the chance of a couple going through old age together is exceedingly slim. Women over age 65 are three times as likely as men of the same age to be widowed. Men who survive their spouse into old age ordinarily have multiple opportunities to remarry if they wish. Even among the oldest-old, the majority of men are married (Federal Interagency Forum on Aging, 2010). A woman is less likely to have an opportunity for remarriage in late life.


In late marriages or remarriage, developing an intimate, sharing relationship between individuals who have had 75 or 80 years of separate experiences often brings conflicting ideologies into the new relationship and can be an enormous challenge. Older people who remarry usually choose someone they have previously known and with whom they share similar backgrounds and interests. Often, older couples live together but do not marry because of economic and inheritance reasons.


The needs, tasks, and expectations of couples in late life differ from those in earlier years. Some couples have been married more than 60 or 70 years. These years together may have been filled with love and companionship or abuse and resentment, or anything in between. However, in general, marital status (or the presence of a long-time partner) is positively related to health, life satisfaction, and well-being. For all couples, the normal physical and sociological circumstances in late life present challenges. Some of the issues that strain many of these relationships include (1) the deteriorating health of one or both partners, (2) limitations in income, (3) conflicts with children or other relatives, (4) incompatible sexual needs, and (5) mismatched needs for activity and socialization.



Divorce

In the past, divorce was considered a stigmatizing event. Today, however, it is so common that a person is inclined to forget the ostracizing effects of divorce from 60 years ago. Divorced and separated (including married with spouse absent) older persons represented only 11.8% of all older persons in 2006 (Administration on Aging, 2008). However, this percentage has increased since 1980, when approximately 5.3% of the older population were divorced or separated with the spouse absent. There are large generational and individual differences in expectations from marriage, but older couples are becoming less likely to stay in an unsatisfactory marriage. Health care professionals must avoid making assumptions and be alert to the possibility of marital dissatisfaction in old age. Nurses should ask, “How would you describe your marriage?”


Long-term relationships are varied and complex, with many factors forming the glue that holds them together. Marital breakdown may be more devastating in old age because it is often unanticipated and may occur concurrently with other significant losses. Health care workers must be concerned with supporting a client’s decision to seek a divorce and with assisting him or her in seeking counseling in the transition. A nurse should alert the client that a divorce will bring on a grieving process similar to the death of a spouse and that a severe disruption in coping capacity may occur until the client adjusts to a new life. The grief may be more difficult to cope with because no socially sanctioned patterns have been established, as is the case with widowhood. In addition, tax and fiscal policies favor married couples, and many divorced elderly women are at a serious economic disadvantage in retirement.



Nontraditional Couples


As the variations in families grow, so do the types of coupled relationships. Among the types of couples we see today are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) couples. Although the number of LGBT people of any age has remained elusive, an estimated 3 million Americans over age 65 are LGBT with projections that this figure is likely to double by 2030 (Gelo, 2008). Many LGBT individuals are raising children, either alone or as part of a couple. Although these couples are less often seen in the aging population, they are still there but may not be obvious because of long-standing discrimination and fear. It is important to recognize that there are considerable differences in the experiences of younger LGBT individuals when compared to those who are older. Older LGBT individuals did not have the benefit of antidiscrimination laws and support for same-sex partners. They were also more likely to keep their sexual orientation and relationships “hidden.”


Many older LGBT individuals have been part of a live-in couple at some time during their life, but as they age, they are more likely to live alone. Some may have developed social networks of friends, members of their family of origin, and the larger community but many lack support. Organizations that serve these communities need to enhance outreach and support mechanisms to enable these individuals to maintain independence and age safely and in good health (Wallace et al, 2011). The continued legal and policy barriers faced by LGBT elders contribute to the challenges for those in domestic partnerships as they age. Recent HHS recommendations addressing these issues may improve access to benefits in the future (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2011) (See Chapter 19). Healthy People 2020 includes a new section on LGBT health and efforts to improve health and address health disparities (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2010).


Increasing numbers of same-sex couples are choosing to have families, and this will call for greater understanding of these “new” types of families, young and old. The majority of research has involved gay and lesbian couples, and much less is known about bisexual and transgender relationships. Much more knowledge of cohort, cultural, and generational differences among age groups is needed to understand the dramatic changes in the lives of gay and lesbian individuals in family lifestyles. The National Resource Center of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Aging has a new portal focused on caregiving resources for LGBT caregivers (http://www.lgbtagingcenter.org/resources/resources/CFM?t=1). Chapter 21 discusses the health concerns of LGBT older adults in more detail.

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Nov 6, 2016 | Posted by in NURSING | Comments Off on Relationships, Roles, and Transitions

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