Normal self-perception and self-concept

The attitudes and perceptions people have about themselves, their abilities, and their self-worth make up what is often called self-identity. People form their self-identities from their values, life experiences, and interactions with others. People with good self-worth and high self-esteem share certain characteristics. They have strong personal values and believe that they have the ability to control their lives. They have had positive life experiences and have received positive feedback from others. People with poor self-worth and low self-esteem tend to have weak personal values and think that they have little control over their lives. They have had primarily negative life experiences and have received negative feedback from others.

We form our self-identities by comparing ourselves and our experiences with some ideal. This can be an internal ideal drawn from our personal values or an external ideal drawn from the society around us. Many people experience problems with self-worth because they always measure themselves against external standards. Contemporary standards are communicated repeatedly by advertising and the media. People who are young, thin, rich, successful, and attractive are idealized. Anyone who does not meet these superficial and artificial standards is somehow judged inferior and thus is viewed negatively by our society. Few people are able to meet all of the idealized criteria. This results in a large number of people (of all ages) in contemporary society who suffer from negative self-esteem.

In trying to meet external standards, people are likely to lose themselves and their internal values. The more we look to the external forces, the less likely we are to have high self-esteem. The more we look internally for our self-worth, the more satisfied we will be in the long run. Shakespeare summed it up nicely in Hamlet: “This above all: to thine own self be true/And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.” (I, iii, 75).

It is easy to say that people should draw on internal ideals to maintain self-esteem, but this is difficult in light of external pressures and feedback. In today’s society, people usually have more negative experiences than positive ones. Therefore, problems relating to self-perception and self-esteem are common in people of all ages. Problems relating to self-esteem are particularly common among the poor, the infirm, and older adults. Studies have shown that women tend to have lower self-esteem until they reach their eighties or nineties. Not surprisingly, it was also found that health and wealth have positive effects on self-esteem.

Feedback from others affects our perception of ourselves. People who have caring friends and families tend to have higher levels of self-identity and self-esteem. Strong families and friends provide support for one another. They help one another keep things in perspective by providing positive feedback and buffering one another from an often negative world. A good family and good friends play an important part in building and maintaining our self-esteem. Persons who lack supportive family and friends are likely to have a poor perception of self and low self-esteem. Those who come from dysfunctional families or who are separated from loved ones run a high risk for poor self-perception and low self-esteem. These people are more likely to suffer from negative feedback because they lack the necessary support to provide balance.

Problems related to self-perception and self-esteem are not as obvious as are physical problems. By their very nature, self-perception and self-concept are subjective. Many people find it difficult to talk about their feelings, often finding themselves unable or unwilling to put their feelings into words. More often, our perceptions of self-worth and self-esteem are exhibited to others through behavior. Significant behaviors include the amount of attention paid to personal hygiene and grooming, the type and frequency of emotions exhibited, body posture, the amount and type of eye contact, and voice and speech patterns. People with very high self-esteem appear to be very much in control of themselves and their lives. They are usually well groomed, maintain an erect body posture, make eye contact with others, speak clearly in a normal tone of voice, and exhibit emotions appropriate to a given situation.

People with very low self-esteem often appear disinterested and out of control. They often appear unkempt or disheveled. They may slump or slouch, and there seems to be little purpose to their movement.Eye contact is infrequent. The amount of communication with others is reduced, is negative in nature, and is often mumbled or abrupt. Emotions can vary from expressions of sadness to full-blown anger.

Most people’s self-esteem and behavior fall between these two extremes. As long as behavior falls within the accepted range of normal, people tend to disregard or overlook what is going on inside other people. Only when behaviors move outside of the normal range do we seriously attempt to understand what is happening inside the person to cause those behaviors.

Self-perception/self-concept and aging

Erikson has identified the major task of late life as maintenance of ego integrity (the sense of self-worth) versus despair. Attitudes toward aging, the level of self-esteem throughout life, the extent of physical change caused by aging and illness, the presence or absence of emotional support systems, and the ability to maintain a degree of control—all of these have an impact on whether aging adults will be successful in accomplishing this task.

Aging individuals develop their own perceptions of aging. It is difficult to see oneself getting old. Many older adults express dismay with the realization and can even identify a particular moment when they perceived themselves as old. One older woman recently attended her fiftieth high school reunion. She reported having a good time but wondered what she was doing with all of these “old people.” A subtle but real change in her self-perception occurred after that incident. Before then, she did not feel old; afterward, she was more aware of her age. Successful aging is not so much a matter of years lived or health status, but rather a matter of perception and attitude. Successful aging has sometimes been described as “mind over matter.” If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Poor self-concept, depression, and other negative feelings can be seen in the older population, although they are not as common as once believed. Studies have shown that the percentage of older adults experiencing problems appears to be no higher than among other age groups. Older adults who have had a poor self-concept throughout their lives are not likely to gain self-esteem with aging. Older adults who had a healthy level of self-esteem during their younger days may experience some problems during aging, but these are most often a result of societal attitudes.

Ageism is still prevalent in our youth-oriented society, which far too often portrays older adults as physically and mentally inept, nonproductive, and dependent. Considering these negative images of aging, it is easy to understand why many people do all within their power to avoid the physical signs of aging. It is difficult for some younger people to understand how radically the changes of age or illness can destroy self-image and self-esteem in older adults. Many younger persons feel that measures such as hair transplants or cosmetic surgery look absurd. They mock older adults, further lowering the aging person’s self-worth. It will be interesting to see what these insensitive people do as they age. One can only wonder what societal attitudes toward aging will be and how they will change as Baby Boomers move into old age.

Older people who accept the negative societal perceptions are likely to suffer more than do those older adults who refuse to accept these stereotypes. Unfortunately, those who start with the poorest self-concept are the ones who are most likely to accept the negatives and are particularly vulnerable to loss of self-worth. Physical, social, and economic changes that occur with aging result in changes in the way older adults perceive themselves and their bodies. The greater the amount of change, the more likely the person is to experience problems related to self-concept. Small changes in appearance or function (e.g., wrinkles or aches and pains) nibble at the edges of self-worth. Serious illnesses (particularly those that result in obvious disfigurement or major loss of function, such as strokes) take a large toll on the aging person’s perception of self.

Frequent and significant losses (including decreasing physical health; decreasing mental quickness; loss of significant others; loss of pride in appearance, roles, or possessions; and loss of independence) threaten the perception of control that is important to most adults. These losses can result in a variety of problems, which often increase in severity if left unchecked.

Institutional placement further damages self-worth by stripping older adults of many of the personal belongings that make up the visible part of their identity. Facilities that are able to accommodate more than a small amount of clothing and a few mementos of a lifetime are rare. A lifetime of 80 years is often reduced to a small closet and bedside stand.

Although losses of physical and functional abilities are damaging to self-worth, loss of the emotional support of loved ones is even more devastating. Death is an increasingly common visitor to older adults. This does not make it less frightening; rather it is a reminder of one’s own mortality. The friends and loved ones who made life worthwhile slip away, one by one. The positive messages that a person is worthwhile, lovable, and loved become less frequent, and the reasons for living disappear. Losses resulting from death or separation from friends and family can leave older adults without those sources of positive feedback that nourish self-worth.

We cannot prevent loss resulting from death, but loss resulting from separation is another matter. Older adults who are separated from their families and significant others are at increased risk for experiencing diminished self-worth. Breakdown of the extended family and increased geographic mobility may result in isolation of older adults, though some studies have shown that this is not as great a problem as often cited. Although a large percentage of the elderly do not reside with family members, they often live alone by choice. A majority of older adults report that they continue to have regular and frequent contact with grown children either in person or by phone.

Separation from family is often associated with placement in an institutional setting. In spite of the fact that institutional placement is usually the last choice after all other alternatives have failed, older adults often feel rejected and isolated when nursing home placement is necessary. It is a natural response for older adults to feel they have been “put away” because they have little value or worth. These individuals often feel unimportant, unloved, and unwanted. Even if this is completely untrue, the perception greatly decreases their sense of self-worth. If family and friends visit often and show positive concern, self-esteem can be maintained. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. It is in institutional settings—where nobody really knows or cares about the inner person—that many older adults lose their remaining sense of self-esteem and self-worth.