Peer Relationships
QUICK LOOK AT THE CHAPTER AHEAD
Peers are either similar in age, or similar in physical, cognitive, or social abilities.
The ability to assume a second and third person perspective shapes a child’s relationships with peers.
Children and teens often gravitate toward peer groups in which the members are much like themselves because it feels familiar.
Adolescents may have several different peer groups based on their activities and affililations.
“Peer pressure” can be positive or negative.
TERMS
Peer group
Peers
Social perspective taking
The importance and the influence of peers in development cannot be exaggerated. In the 1940s, Anna Freud (Sigmund Freud’s daughter) and Sophie Dann worked with six German Jewish orphans whose parents had died in the Nazi gas chambers. The six children spent several years together in a concentration camp, enduring horrible conditions, with few adult contacts. When the war ended, the children were taken to England to recover. Although they showed some effects of their ordeal—thumb sucking, fearfulness, restlessness—they were strongly attached to each other, to the point where they comforted each other when disturbed and became upset when separated. With the loving care that the children received over the subsequent years, coupled with their continued relationships with their peers, they gradually showed normal patterns of development (Freud & Dann, 1951).
THE MEANING OF PEERWe typically use the word “peer” to refer to those who are similar in age, usually having been born within 12 months of each other. But equal in age does not mean equal in everything—for example, intelligence, physical ability, or social skills. Also, research shows that many peer interactions involve individuals who are more than 12 months older.
Research shows that many peer interactions involve individuals who are more than 12 months older.Most adolescents still want to remain close to parents, but the forces of separation and independence are powerful, leading to strains in the home. The attraction of peer relationships grows intense and assumes a sensitivity and sense of belongingness that challenges adults to remain “sensitively responsive.” Adolescents whose parents are warm, responsive, and consistent disciplinarians are more competent with peers than those whose parents are harsh and rejecting or overly permissive.
Teenagers are acutely aware that they must get along with their peers, which forces them to think about their relationships—a major step in social development. For example, they begin to make definite judgments about the behavior of their peers and become more astute at detecting meaning in facial expressions and in the way something is said. Their increasing social skills and cognitive maturity enable them to recognize that other points of view exist.
SOCIAL PERSPECTIVE TAKINGSelman (1980) believed that people’s views on relationships cannot be separated from their personal theories about the psychological characteristics of others. Selman identified several levels of social perspective taking and noted that youngsters gradually comprehend that other people are different and have ideas of their own. As they move into adolescence, their views of a relationship include self, someone else, and the kind of relationship between them. At this point in their development, the desire to conform becomes achingly important. Selman’s five-level analysis of interpersonal understanding is illustrated in Table 60-1.
THE FORMATION OF PEER GROUPSThe view of adolescence has changed in recent years. Although the adolescent period brings challenges, anxiety, excitement, and even upsets, for most adolescents it is not a time of great stress, turmoil,
and trouble (Lerner & Galambos, 1998). More frequently than not, the peer group becomes a positive force during these years and exercises many positive functions.
and trouble (Lerner & Galambos, 1998). More frequently than not, the peer group becomes a positive force during these years and exercises many positive functions.
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