A sense of self is a multifaceted composite of one’s characteristics and abilities. Self-concept develops as children mature physically, cognitively, and socially, and is subject to influence from parents, peers, and society at large. But what do we mean by “self”?

The next time you look into a mirror think of this question: What do you see? Of course, you see you. But what exactly do you see? When you look in the mirror, you see yourself. But there are two sides to this vision of yourself. The first is referred to as the “I” self, that part of you that is doing the actual looking. The second part of what you see is the “me” self; that is, the “me” is the person observed, a dichotomy that remains alive and well today.

William James proposed this division of the self into two distinct parts. James believed that the “I” part of the self was the knower—that is, the “I” that thinks, makes judgments, recognizes it is separate from everything it sees, and controls the surrounding world. The “me,” by contrast, is the object of the “I”’s thinking, judging, and so on. Think of the “me” as your self-image, which helps you to understand how the “I” develops feelings of self-esteem. As a result of the “I” evaluating the “me”’s activities, the self is judged good or bad, competent or incompetent, masterful or fumbling.

During the early childhood years, children change from identifying themselves by physical characteristics (hair or eye color) to more social and emotional characteristics (feeling good or bad about themselves). As children grow, their sense of self is not limited to their reflections in a mirror; they have acquired language and are able to tell us what they think of themselves. Their self-judgments reflect their changing cognitive and social maturity.