In order to understand how to communicate appropriately during conflict it is important to identify the severity of the emotions in all communicating parties during the conflict. This recognition will assist in deciding how to control or resolve the conflict. The severity of the emotions associated with the conflict may also indicate the effort and action required to resolve the conflict. If the emotion is simply one of uneasiness or awkwardness, it is probably not too serious. The uneasiness may indicate totally unrelated causes (e.g. tiredness, hunger or lateness). A simple question to clarify the reason for the lack of ease can quickly resolve the awkwardness (e.g. Are you feeling all right today?). Alternatively, a statement to explain the uneasiness (e.g. I am sorry, I have just been to the funeral of a close friend) will assist in clarifying the situation.

Another emotion associated with conflict when communicating is irritation. Irritation or annoyance can occur during an interaction when the potential outcome of the interaction appears unsatisfactory to at least one of the people communicating. In this situation the use of questions (e.g. You seem irritated today – is there something upsetting you?) or an ‘I’ statement or question (e.g. I feel irritated because you said you would be on time today and you were half an hour late again or Are you upset because of something I have done?) can be powerful in highlighting and potentially resolving a difficult communicative event. Despite the use of ‘I’, these responses focus on the problem. They can clarify the cause of the emotion and potentially resolve the situation for the person who feels irritated.

Another result of difficult communicative interactions can be misunderstandings (see Ch 17). A misunderstanding occurs when there is a failure to understand or correctly interpret the meaning of thoughts, intentions, words, associated feelings, non-verbal behaviours or actions. This situation can cause confusion, dissatisfaction and discouragement in all communicating parties. The failure in understanding is not always easy to resolve if there were associated emotional responses. However, if one party feels misunderstood it is possible the other communicating individuals will also feel misunderstood. Honestly acknowledging the misunderstanding, admitting any mistake and apologising is a powerful course of action that can resolve the conflict. This action often allows the other person to apologise and say that it is all right. Remembering that each individual is in control of their emotional responses and can choose what they will feel is important for the health professional in such circumstances.

In some situations it is important to identify the purpose of expressing the emotions. Recognising the reason for the passionate expression of any negative emotion may assist the health professional to determine their response. Such expressions of emotion may cause discomfort for those present in the room. In these situations it is important to assess whether ignoring the expression is the appropriate course of action. Sometimes a person simply needs to express their emotions with minimal response from another person. It may be difficult to evaluate and respond with the correct action. The action might be to quietly leave the room and close the door or perhaps remain quietly in the room until the completion of the expression of the emotion. Whether or not the health professional chooses to ignore, in situations similar to these it is best for health professionals to avoid responding emotionally, nor should they absorb blame if they are not responsible. Dealing appropriately with expressions of emotion will assist the person and the resolution of the situation.